Sunday, August 3, 2014

Embracing Feelings and Staying Grounded.

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praises belong to Allah and Allah only.

For these past two years, I have come to learn that valuing ourselves is the biggest gift that one can reward oneself. It is true that through brokenness, lights will enter and eventually it will lead us to wonderments of life. By these, I meant the discovery of our truer self and purpose of life.

A gentle reminder though. Writing this is not an easy thing to do as I need to unfold my memories in which it was full of emotion, confusion, and imbalance on my part due to my own blunder. Yet, no harm is intended as all of these are causes that made me seek Him the Almighty. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

One good thing leads to another.

As I was searching ways to heal myself, with Allah’s guidance I discovered abundant of resources chained and linked to one another. Of course, the Quran itself is a means to heal oneself. Holistic healing comes from the word “Whole”. When we are whole, we are deeply connected to ourselves at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level.

“And We reveal of the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy to the believers, and it adds only to the perdition of the unjust” – Surah Al-Isra (17:82)

Read the Quran when you are confused and when you need answers. It is as if Allah Azza Wa Jalla is talking directly to you, helping you in a way that you could have never imagined. To merely write my feelings would be an understatement in and of itself and would do unjust to Allah’s mercifulness. So you have to experience yourself how Allah is talking to you when you need Him the most. Put your ego in the dustbin and you will melt out of His love for you, SubhanaAllah.

The Journey of Meeting Beautiful Souls.

Moving forward, I met beautiful people with beautiful souls. Each of them has their own stories, some so deep and unthinkable that I have no capacity to digest. To compare theirs with mine, gosh, I can almost hear myself saying “Come on Mimi! Your trial is not as big as theirs! Why so sullen?!”  But criticizing myself for feeling that way certainly did not help much.

Trying to Be Whole Again.

Instead, as what I have learned from Hakim Sidi Archuletta (will get to that later) we should identify our feelings and sensations, most importantly recognize and embrace them! Feel those emotions, if you have to cry it out then cry. If you’re angry about something then be so as long as you know how to properly react upon it. Hakim means traditional Islamic doctor, a person who cures illness through wisdom. Hakim Archuletta has been teaching natural healing in the essence of spirituality through Islamic doctrines. Humans are design to shut down emotion when we are constantly being hurt. These 3 fears are what hindering us from getting in touch with our own feelings.

1.       Fear of being open
2.       Fear of reaching out / fear of being rejected
3.       Fear to speak out
Sound familiar? You bet they are.

Accept What Is, Let Go Of What Was.

So instead of shutting down my emotions and feelings, I reach out to them. I feel them across my body. I understand them. I reconnect with nature. When I recalled back the experiences that I thought were hurting me, I search for the wisdom behind them. Instead of blaming the situation or other person(s) in which I find it hard to do because I have lost that ego, I have only myself to hold accountable. The people, the situations, are all part of what have been decreed by Allah (swt) as tools to teach me the lessons in life and for everyone to grow. Accept what is, and let go of what was. Forgive everyone and most importantly forgive myself.  I feel more comfortable in my own skin now and am happier with true happiness! Hehe. Alhamdulillah. Though I am still not sure where my life will lead to, I realize that it is all about finding the meaning of every action I do. After all, life is a journey yes? 

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Heart Remedy - Qasidah Qod Kafani

It has been quite some time since I last posted my writing here. Not that I don't have the time but I just couldn't make the time sufficient for writing and for that I'm charged with guiltiness. Anyway with the hope of making up what I missed, I would like to share a Qasidah in which I found to be very close to my heart. Reading at it attentively is enough to make one understand that it was written purely for the love of our Lord, Allah Exalted is He. This qasidah was written by Al Habib Abdullah bin Alwi Al Haddad and has been widely known and recited by Muslims. 

My Lord's knowledge has sufficed me from asking and choosing
For my du'a and my agonising supplication is a witness to my poverty 
For this secret (reason) I make supplication in times of ease and times of difficulty 
I am a slave whose pride is in his poverty and obligation 
O my Lord and my King You know my state 
And what has settled in my heart of agonies and preoccupations 
Save me with a gentleness from You, O Lord of Lords 
Oh save me, Most Generous before I run out of my patience (with myself) 
O One who is swift in sending aid I ask for aid that will arrive to me swiftly 
It will defeat all difficulty and it will bring all that I hope for 
O Near One Who answers and All-Knowing and All-Hearing 
I have attained realization through my incapacity my submission and my brokenness  
I am still standing by the door so please my Lord, have mercy on my standing 
And in the valley of generosity, I am in i'tikaf  
So retreat  
Allah, make my retreat here permanent and I'm abiding by good opinion (of You) 
For it is my friend and ally 
And it is the one that sits by me and keeps me company 
All day and night 
There is a need in my soul, O Allah 
So please fulfil it, O Best of Fulfillers 
And comfort my secret and my heart from its burning and its shrapnel 
For joy and expansion is my state and my motto and my cover

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Solat Al-Muqarrabin.

Another dose of Imam Suhaib Webb! :)

Malaysia is so blessed to have all these wonderful ulama' and scholars here. So here's to another imaan boosting program!

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The Concept of A Successful Family by Imam Suhaib Webb

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only.

Last Sunday alhamdulillah I had the chance to listen to Imam Suhaib Webb live, along with other fortunate audiences at Masjid Bukit Antarabangsa or as Imam Suhaib said, Masjid of The International Hill. Haha! He is currently here in Malaysia for another episode of Reflection TV Al-Hijrah.

The topic was interesting and important at the same time.  I heard on the radio that divorce in Malaysia occurs every 10 minutes. Now that is very worrying isn't it?

Imam Suhaib started off with the issues pertaining to single people and that is how we idealized a picture perfect family and a perfect spouse. These unrealistic expectations when not met with would lead to disappointment. But this is not to say that we do not need to have a certain standard and principles to adhere with when it comes to finding that spouse, just that as long as he/she is a practising Muslim then insyaAllah all is well.

He also gave examples of imperfect families of the prophets (peace and blessings be upon them). Adam (a.s.) had a son who killed his own brother. Nuh (a.s.) and Luth (a.s.) had a wife who were disbelievers. Prophet Ibrahim (a.s.) 's father was a disbeliever who worshipped the idols. It is the efforts that count, really. You can be married to the meanest husband and yet attain Jannah like Asiah the wife of Firaun. Imam Suhaib said the goal here is EFFORT. The highest goal is to attain His ridha and Jannah comes in the package.

When it comes to being a single mother, the community needs to stop judging and starts accepting them and guide them back to Allah. Two of the Imams (I can't remember at this point, will update once I get my hands on my notes insyaAllah) were raised by single mothers. Salahuddin al-Ayubi was raised by a single mother. Look at their achievements with Allah and the people. MasyaAllah.

So for the single brothers and sisters, Imam Suhaib gave advices and things to take heed of before actually getting married. Prepare yourself to be a husband and a father. If you're still watching pornography then you might not be ready at all. Be someone you want your son / daughter to be. For the sisters, same advice. Reflect on yourself and think do you really want your children to have a mother like you? *gulps* 

That is about it. Let us together change for the better and may Allah (swt) make it easy for us and give the best spouse and family. Allah (swt) knows best. Any faults and weaknesses from this post come from me, and all the best things come from Allah Exalted is He. 

Imam Suhaib Webb and the masjid's committees (I guess hehe)

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Oh Dear Heart.

Sometimes it is better to keep to your guts and instincts when your mind is telling otherwise. But of course, only when you're sure your heart is at its clean state.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Small Thing Matters.

In the name of Allah, Most Merciful and Most Gracious. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only.

Have you ever ponder on life's detailing? The things that has happened to you, the people you met did you ever thought of why their life coincide with you and why certain things are as they are right now and then. It is good sometime to take a little sweet time to do some reflection and try seeing what is it that Allah wants us to think. Though we might not get the full answer it's always nice to let that brain of ours get worked on a bit more than the usual.

I was at the petrol pump one evening when the adhan for Asar was called out on the radio. Little that I know I was about to witness something very minute but had an enormous impact on my heart. When the adhan ended, I saw the petrol pump worker, a Bangladeshi  in his 50's (if I'm not mistaken) putting up his hands and make the after adhan du'a =') It was a very nice thing to see and it kind of gave me hope that yes, they are still good people in the crowd even when there is so much thing to be worried about.

Friday, December 27, 2013


In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only.

So yesterday on the 25th December was the Christmas festive holiday. While others took the chance to go out and have that leisure to shop, eat and dine, I opted to stay at home and engaged in a deep deep slumberland. OK NOT. 

After a hard days work, I thought I'd take this one day off of doing or thinking any heavy things. You know, a day off to rediscover myself and get in tact with my head. Haha!  

Well, my kind of escapism is one when I indulge myself with books. Reading books has been my hobby ever since I knew how to read. Looking back on the years, amazing it was to see the trends of genre that I so involved with based on age and environment. 

From fairy tales to adventures. Mystery to fantasies (Twilight Saga, remember?). But never had I leave the inquisitive side of me away. The one where I wanted to know more about the life's of our Prophets from Adam (peace be upon him) to Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). As I'm getting older, I knew that I need a change of wind. I knew that I had to preoccupy my mind with something that is more beneficial and could give positive impact to my life and gradually to my family and insyaAllah to the ummah. 

When I realized that, I changed my reading habits. My preference of genre. There's a saying, "You are what you eat". In this case I'd say "You are what you read" if I may say so. When I adopted to my new books genre and keep to it, there's a thrilling emotion inside that one cannot simply describe. It's like one part of you that was missing has now been restored. For instance, I read a book titled Muhammad by Martin Lings. It occurred to me that each time I spent on one chapter, it felt as if I was there. MasyaAllah :') And I couldn't wait to get to the next chapter and get to know our Prophet (saw) more. 

May Allah Glorious is He accepts our good deeds and give lights to those who seek true knowledge. Allahumma Ameen.