Monday, September 15, 2014

Dinding Hati

Kita dilahirkan suci murni, tiada sebarang penyakit hati. Namun dalam proses membesar kita akan berhadapan dengan bermacam rintangan dan ragam manusia. Manusia ego contohnya. Penyakit hati yang berangkai dan berjangkit tanpa kita sedar. Bagaimana?

Contoh, kita bertemu dan mengenali seseorang yang ego dan sukar. Kita semakin terluka lalu kita akan bina 'dinding' hati. A total shutdown. Tiada rasa. Lalu kita bertemu dengan keadaan dan watak yang lain. 'Dinding' hati masih ada malah diperkuatkan lagi binaannya. Nah, watak lain pula yang menjadi mangsa. Kita yang asalnya mangsa kini jadi pemangsa.

Cycle ini akan berterusan sampailah suatu ketika pintu hati diketuk dengan kasih sayang Allah, melalui kasih sayang watak lain yang benar benar jujur mahu meruntuhkan 'dinding' hati. Namun, jika kita masih ada dinding itu runtuhkanlah ia di dalam sujud. Jangan tunggu watak lain. Ini hidup kita, hati kita. Jangan biarkan keras lama-lama. Kerana ia milik Allah jua.

Hati yang bersih itulah yang menjadi ukuran buat kita, syurga atau neraka.

Motor dan Beg Galas

Waktu pagi hari Isnin macam biasa saya akan bangun dan bersiap-siap untuk ke pejabat. Walaupun terkadang rasa layu kerana dua hari sudah berehat dan kini perlu bekerja pula, namun digagahkan jua langkah. Ini lah rezeki yang telah Allah swt tetapkan buat diri ini. Syukur.

Bismillahi tawakkaltu 'alallah.

Langkah keluar rumah disertai permintaan pertolongan dan perlindungan kepada Allah Maha Kuasa.

Niat setiap hari mahu lihat dan faham segala kebaikan yang telah Dia sediakan buat saya yang banyak kekurangan ini.

Nah, waktu keluar simpang rumah saya disajikan dengan pemandangan yang menginsafkan.

Kecil sahaja mungkin, namun bila difikirkan, seribu satu macam hikmah boleh diambil iktibar.

Sepasang suami isteri yang juga dalam perjalanan ke tempat kerja menaiki motor di apit dengan tiga orang anak-anak kecil. Disangkut pula di bahu isteri beg galas, ke taska barangkali.

Mereka masih cekal ke tempat kerja. Masih kuat menghantar anak-anak ke taska mengharapkan anak-anak kecil itu memahami tugasan dan tanggungjawab mencari nafkah buat keluarga. Walaupun bermotor tiada teduhan tika panas dan hujan.

Saya berfikir sejenak.

A013

Maka yang mana satu di antara nikmat-nikmat Tuhan kamu, yang kamu hendak dustakan? 
Surah ar - Rahman (55:13)

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Harta Karun

Dahulu masa kecil, buku dan saya memang tidak dapat dipisahkan. Seperti rakan baik, susah nak ditinggalkan!
Pernah suatu malam, emak dan abah mengajak saya keluar bersama makan malam. Saya pula ketika itu khusyuk bermain dengan buku-buku yang dimiliki. Pelawaan emak dan abah ditolak.
"Tak apa, Mimi tinggal rumah. Mak abah pergilah. Mimi jaga rumah"
Kata saya yang masih belum bersekolah ketika itu. Emak abah akur sahaja meninggalkan anak sulong mereka di rumah ditemani buku-buku dan cerita McGuyver di TV, juga kegemaran saya ketika itu.
Sungguh, buku-buku lah harta karun paling bernilai buat saya. Terima kasih emak abah perkenalkan dengan hobi yang sangat bermanfaat!

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

It was contagious!

Today I bumped into a couple whose happiness was so contagious that I smiled all the way to the office. I was actually worried that ppl would think I'm a lunatic lol. They were both visually impaired, the wife guiding her husband at the back while holding their maybe 3 year old daughter who was also a jovial kid!
We often complain about our misfortune and neglect the blessings that we have whilst others are enjoying what they have to the fullest.
From these pakcik and makcik, I have learned that happiness does not come from a pretty or handsome face, the latest car in town, or that new jewellery you bought. It comes from the heart being content with Allah (swt). This couple had really proved it!
We or I in particular might see through our naked eyes that this couple is visually impaired but maybe Allah (swt) sees them as one of the most beautiful creation of His. Maybe much much more beautiful than us, the so called perfect and flawless human being. Because our hearts are not the same & Allah knows best.

Monday, September 8, 2014

The Beauty of Transitions.


The transition from day to night, sunset as we call it; 
Possesses beauty that dims through our world,
Leaving marks in our memory.
"Ah, that sunset moment." 

Thus is humans.
The transition of our life from one phase to another,
Magnifies beauty through strength.
The strength of changing,
The strength of leaving,
The strength of knowing,
That what is coming afterwards, 
Possesses an even greater beauty of its own.


Sunday, August 3, 2014

Embracing Feelings and Staying Grounded.

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praises belong to Allah and Allah only.

For these past two years, I have come to learn that valuing ourselves is the biggest gift that one can reward oneself. It is true that through brokenness, lights will enter and eventually it will lead us to wonderments of life. By these, I meant the discovery of our truer self and purpose of life.

A gentle reminder though. Writing this is not an easy thing to do as I need to unfold my memories in which it was full of emotion, confusion, and imbalance on my part due to my own blunder. Yet, no harm is intended as all of these are causes that made me seek Him the Almighty. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

One good thing leads to another.

As I was searching ways to heal myself, with Allah’s guidance I discovered abundant of resources chained and linked to one another. Of course, the Quran itself is a means to heal oneself. Holistic healing comes from the word “Whole”. When we are whole, we are deeply connected to ourselves at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level.

“And We reveal of the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy to the believers, and it adds only to the perdition of the unjust” – Surah Al-Isra (17:82)

Read the Quran when you are confused and when you need answers. It is as if Allah Azza Wa Jalla is talking directly to you, helping you in a way that you could have never imagined. To merely write my feelings would be an understatement in and of itself and would do unjust to Allah’s mercifulness. So you have to experience yourself how Allah is talking to you when you need Him the most. Put your ego in the dustbin and you will melt out of His love for you, SubhanaAllah.

The Journey of Meeting Beautiful Souls.

Moving forward, I met beautiful people with beautiful souls. Each of them has their own stories, some so deep and unthinkable that I have no capacity to digest. To compare theirs with mine, gosh, I can almost hear myself saying “Come on Mimi! Your trial is not as big as theirs! Why so sullen?!”  But criticizing myself for feeling that way certainly did not help much.

Trying to Be Whole Again.

Instead, as what I have learned from Hakim Sidi Archuletta (will get to that later) we should identify our feelings and sensations, most importantly recognize and embrace them! Feel those emotions, if you have to cry it out then cry. If you’re angry about something then be so as long as you know how to properly react upon it. Hakim means traditional Islamic doctor, a person who cures illness through wisdom. Hakim Archuletta has been teaching natural healing in the essence of spirituality through Islamic doctrines. Humans are design to shut down emotion when we are constantly being hurt. These 3 fears are what hindering us from getting in touch with our own feelings.

1.       Fear of being open
2.       Fear of reaching out / fear of being rejected
3.       Fear to speak out
Sound familiar? You bet they are.

Accept What Is, Let Go Of What Was.

So instead of shutting down my emotions and feelings, I reach out to them. I feel them across my body. I understand them. I reconnect with nature. When I recalled back the experiences that I thought were hurting me, I search for the wisdom behind them. Instead of blaming the situation or other person(s) in which I find it hard to do because I have lost that ego, I have only myself to hold accountable. The people, the situations, are all part of what have been decreed by Allah (swt) as tools to teach me the lessons in life and for everyone to grow. Accept what is, and let go of what was. Forgive everyone and most importantly forgive myself.  I feel more comfortable in my own skin now and am happier with true happiness! Hehe. Alhamdulillah. Though I am still not sure where my life will lead to, I realize that it is all about finding the meaning of every action I do. After all, life is a journey yes? 

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Heart Remedy - Qasidah Qod Kafani

It has been quite some time since I last posted my writing here. Not that I don't have the time but I just couldn't make the time sufficient for writing and for that I'm charged with guiltiness. Anyway with the hope of making up what I missed, I would like to share a Qasidah in which I found to be very close to my heart. Reading at it attentively is enough to make one understand that it was written purely for the love of our Lord, Allah Exalted is He. This qasidah was written by Al Habib Abdullah bin Alwi Al Haddad and has been widely known and recited by Muslims. 

My Lord's knowledge has sufficed me from asking and choosing
For my du'a and my agonising supplication is a witness to my poverty 
For this secret (reason) I make supplication in times of ease and times of difficulty 
I am a slave whose pride is in his poverty and obligation 
O my Lord and my King You know my state 
And what has settled in my heart of agonies and preoccupations 
Save me with a gentleness from You, O Lord of Lords 
Oh save me, Most Generous before I run out of my patience (with myself) 
O One who is swift in sending aid I ask for aid that will arrive to me swiftly 
It will defeat all difficulty and it will bring all that I hope for 
O Near One Who answers and All-Knowing and All-Hearing 
I have attained realization through my incapacity my submission and my brokenness  
I am still standing by the door so please my Lord, have mercy on my standing 
And in the valley of generosity, I am in i'tikaf  
So retreat  
Allah, make my retreat here permanent and I'm abiding by good opinion (of You) 
For it is my friend and ally 
And it is the one that sits by me and keeps me company 
All day and night 
There is a need in my soul, O Allah 
So please fulfil it, O Best of Fulfillers 
And comfort my secret and my heart from its burning and its shrapnel 
For joy and expansion is my state and my motto and my cover