With hopes and fears and passionate desires,
How can one not be engulf in fires,
Driven to change and driven to raise the bar of penitence,
For one's self worth through His divine acceptance.
2014 has its bitter sweet moments. Through love & lost, relief & pain, joy & sorrow, they were all priceless life lessons. Such is the nature of this life, the way we respond to each circumstances would either make us better or break us even further.
The start of 2015 was something I'd never expected. The passing of Maklong on Friday 2nd January 2015 / 11 Rabiulawal 1436H marks another lost for our big family. May Allah grants His rahmah to her, overlooks her sins and reunite us again in His jannatul firdaus.
I was in my room getting ready for work when the scent of bakhoor lit by Abah downstairs lightly spread all across the house. It was calming and enchanting.
Coming down, I was greeted by the birds outside singing happily and our cat Muffin meowing at us as she was about to be bathed saying 'Hello, good morning Kaklong, now can you help me get out of this cage? Bathing at this early hour is so not me'. Sorry Muffin, I can't help you. I'm off to work, toodles. See you later.
And so she sat there obediently sending me off with her Puss in Boot's eyes.
Driving my way to office was amazingly smooth alhamdulillah. Though surrounded by tall buildings and cars honking everywhere, looking at the green trees around released a few of the stresses that might have subconsciously embedded.
Making connection with nature (skies, trees, animals) somehow eliminates negativities and motivates oneself to be more calm and collected.
Resolving to be angry when things don't go your way or having a resentment towards the situation or the person involved, will only result in you not having a peaceful heart.
Whoever fault it was, you need to be accountable for your own thought and action for your own well being. It might hurt you to realize that you're only at the lowest of priority for someone that you actually had a good interest at heart, but reality is reality. Accept it for what it is and forgive yourself for making your own life miserable by putting too much expectation on another flawed human being like you.
A balance mutual relationship (friendship / family/ colleague etc.) should happen with shared value & common understanding. If all efforts have been tried out and things doesn't happen the way you planned, remove yourself from it & evaluate. Be calm. Think.
Perhaps the solution is by having the distance to create enough space to forgive and to let go for the best interest of both or more parties if involved.
This I wrote as a reminder to myself and foremost. To whoever reading this, may you have all the love you need and may it be a blessed one ❤
Kita dilahirkan suci murni, tiada sebarang penyakit hati. Namun dalam proses membesar kita akan berhadapan dengan bermacam rintangan dan ragam manusia. Manusia ego contohnya. Penyakit hati yang berangkai dan berjangkit tanpa kita sedar. Bagaimana?
Contoh, kita bertemu dan mengenali seseorang yang ego dan sukar. Kita semakin terluka lalu kita akan bina 'dinding' hati. A total shutdown. Tiada rasa. Lalu kita bertemu dengan keadaan dan watak yang lain. 'Dinding' hati masih ada malah diperkuatkan lagi binaannya. Nah, watak lain pula yang menjadi mangsa. Kita yang asalnya mangsa kini jadi pemangsa.
Cycle ini akan berterusan sampailah suatu ketika pintu hati diketuk dengan kasih sayang Allah, melalui kasih sayang watak lain yang benar benar jujur mahu meruntuhkan 'dinding' hati. Namun, jika kita masih ada dinding itu runtuhkanlah ia di dalam sujud. Jangan tunggu watak lain. Ini hidup kita, hati kita. Jangan biarkan keras lama-lama. Kerana ia milik Allah jua.
Hati yang bersih itulah yang menjadi ukuran buat kita, syurga atau neraka.