In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praises
belong to Allah and Allah only.
For these past two years, I have come to learn that valuing ourselves
is the biggest gift that one can reward oneself. It is true that through brokenness,
lights will enter and eventually it will lead us to wonderments of life. By
these, I meant the discovery of our truer self and purpose of life.
A gentle reminder though. Writing this is not an easy thing
to do as I need to unfold my memories in which it was full of emotion,
confusion, and imbalance on my part due to my own blunder. Yet, no harm is
intended as all of these are causes that made me seek Him the Almighty. Alhamdulillah
ala kulli hal.
One good thing leads
to another.
As I was searching ways to heal myself, with Allah’s
guidance I discovered abundant of resources chained and linked to one another.
Of course, the Quran itself is a means to heal oneself. Holistic healing comes
from the word “Whole”. When we are whole, we are deeply connected to ourselves
at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level.
“And We reveal of the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy to the
believers, and it adds only to the perdition of the unjust” – Surah Al-Isra
(17:82)
Read the Quran when you are confused and when you need
answers. It is as if Allah Azza Wa Jalla is talking directly to you, helping
you in a way that you could have never imagined. To merely write my feelings
would be an understatement in and of itself and would do unjust to Allah’s
mercifulness. So you have to experience yourself how Allah is talking to you
when you need Him the most. Put your ego in the dustbin and you will melt out
of His love for you, SubhanaAllah.
The Journey of
Meeting Beautiful Souls.
Moving forward, I met beautiful people with beautiful souls.
Each of them has their own stories, some so deep and unthinkable that I have no
capacity to digest. To compare theirs with mine, gosh, I can almost hear myself
saying “Come on Mimi! Your trial is not as big as theirs! Why so sullen?!” But criticizing myself for feeling that way
certainly did not help much.
Trying to Be Whole
Again.
Instead, as what I have learned from Hakim Sidi Archuletta
(will get to that later) we should identify our feelings and sensations, most
importantly recognize and embrace them! Feel those emotions, if you have to cry
it out then cry. If you’re angry about something then be so as long as you know
how to properly react upon it. Hakim means traditional Islamic doctor, a person
who cures illness through wisdom. Hakim Archuletta has been teaching natural
healing in the essence of spirituality through Islamic doctrines. Humans are
design to shut down emotion when we are constantly being hurt. These 3 fears
are what hindering us from getting in touch with our own feelings.
1.
Fear of being open
2.
Fear of reaching out / fear of being rejected
3.
Fear to speak out
Sound familiar? You bet they are.
Accept What Is,
Let Go Of What Was.
So instead of shutting down my emotions and feelings, I
reach out to them. I feel them across my body. I understand them. I reconnect
with nature. When I recalled back the experiences that I thought were hurting
me, I search for the wisdom behind them. Instead of blaming the situation or
other person(s) in which I find it hard to do because I have lost that ego, I
have only myself to hold accountable. The people, the situations, are all part
of what have been decreed by Allah (swt) as tools to teach me the lessons in
life and for everyone to grow. Accept what is, and let go of what was. Forgive
everyone and most importantly forgive myself. I feel more comfortable in my own skin now and
am happier with true happiness! Hehe. Alhamdulillah. Though I am still not sure
where my life will lead to, I realize that it is all about finding the meaning
of every action I do. After all, life is a journey yes?
