It is a Union of Two Souls

Marriage. The question kept coming when you're now in your late 20s. Some questions were not harmful, some were hurtful. Rare it is to find those who sincerely care. Once I received an unwanted commentary, 'when i was your age, i was already married'. I was about to say 'so?' but I brushed it away and laughed instead. I have come to the point where I am happy and enjoy being a single woman. I get to do a lot of things that I enjoy doing, not saying that marriage is going to take that away because I know when the time comes inshaAllah I will enjoy being married. But please understand that this is the state that I am currently in. Single, happy with my family and friends. Biting my nails about the future won't help me. Marriage to me is a sacred union of two souls who constantly want to grow, together. Let me put my hopes onto Allah, for He knows what is best for me. The best that you can do for me is pray for my happiness and not imposing your perspective on me and other women.

Aspired to be the Inspired

Being in a group of women with so many talents and gifts to offer has aspired me to become a better woman. A woman of substance.

To achieve that I myself have to go through a journey of realization and acceptance.

Accepting that I am a human with potentials to grow. Tap into myself and see the gifts that He The Majestic has given me. At the same time realizing that I can and I will make mistakes. It is part and partial of learning, no?

It is only when we're in the arena battling the challenges thrown at us that we will come out as a woman with substance.

La hawla wala quwwata illa billah.

Locking yourself in.

Some part of you is locked and not shown to the public. That part is perhaps, the one you perceive as ugly, undeserving of attention from others. It might be true. But it might be false as well.

You have been shutting yourself out from people who really cares. Have you ever thought, that someone out there, is going to see that side of you and end up loving you more at their soul level? Just as much as you are able to show up in your innermost soul level?

Almost End of Year Reflection

"We can't be brave in the big world without at least one small safe space to work through our fears and falls" - Brené Brown. .

I've been reading and learning on vulnerability this past year and I think it has helped me so much. Putting it into practice is one of the worst nightmares, to show up as whole person with highs and lows is not easy as it seems. Materially, I did not acquire much this year (except for books that are piling up!). But to have my inner self grow, that is a much better achievement. All good things are from Allah The Most High, and the weaknesses are all mine. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal.

 #halalfeetpose

Toughened Up

It might goes against my principle, against my faith, against everything that I have learned. But sometimes you can't help it. Every action has its consequences.

Bila Sampai Nanti

Mati itu sentiasa dekat.
Tanpa sedar ia selalu datang melawat
Menunggu detik dan tika
Bersediakah kita?

Pohon selalu pada Dia biar kita mati dalam iman bukan dalam alpa

Biar kita mati dengan hati bersih daripada cela dan noda

Sebab mati itu sentiasa menjengah dalam tidur dan jaga

Why Feel?

"The more we feel our joy, the more we feel pain".

To be able to feel, is a gift in and of itself. But to really feel, it can be overwhelming. Scary so as to speak. Kalau tak, mana kan ada bidalan orang tua 'Kalau seronok sangat nanti, ada yang menangis pula". Which is true. So we shut down. We put up walls so high, nobody can come through. We thought we are safe now. But we're wrong.

We've created a barrier that no love can come in, and no love can pour out of that sacred heart of us. That, is a calamity. A calamity for the heart, for the soul. We are dead before our appointed time. Instead my love, embrace the feelings. Don't be afraid of them.

They are making you alive.