Why Feel?

"The more we feel our joy, the more we feel pain".

To be able to feel, is a gift in and of itself. But to really feel, it can be overwhelming. Scary so as to speak. Kalau tak, mana kan ada bidalan orang tua 'Kalau seronok sangat nanti, ada yang menangis pula". Which is true. So we shut down. We put up walls so high, nobody can come through. We thought we are safe now. But we're wrong.

We've created a barrier that no love can come in, and no love can pour out of that sacred heart of us. That, is a calamity. A calamity for the heart, for the soul. We are dead before our appointed time. Instead my love, embrace the feelings. Don't be afraid of them.

They are making you alive.

Cerita Rindu

Wahai angin,
Khabarkan pada sawah padi,
Hijaunya senantiasa memikat hati,
Sampaikan pada sang unggas,
Nyanyian merdunya seakan memanggil lekas,
Si pencinta alam dan kedamaiannya

Cerita Makna

Dan bila mana bulan menampakkan dirinya, terbitlah cahaya gemerlapan di tabir bumi

Sekalian mergastua mula mengambil posisi, ayuh malam sudah tiba

Rehatlah.

Khabarnya esok matahari kan menyinari, setiap pelosok tidak akan terhindari

Bertebaranlah.

Kembali malam, kembali siang. Kembali malam, kembali siang.

Kembali begitu, kembali begini.

Cerita yang sama, diulang lagi.

Carilah makna dalam cerita yang sama. Jikalau tidak dicari makna, alahai kosongnya cerita.

Cerita itu, yang diulang.

The Drive.

With hopes and fears and passionate desires,

How can one not be engulf in fires,

Driven to change and driven to raise the bar of penitence, 

For one's self worth through His divine acceptance. 

The End is Just The Beginning.

2014 has its bitter sweet moments. Through love & lost, relief & pain, joy & sorrow, they were all priceless life lessons. Such is the nature of this life, the way we respond to each circumstances would either make us better or break us even further.
_____________________________________

The start of 2015 was something I'd never expected. The passing of Maklong on Friday 2nd January 2015 / 11 Rabiulawal 1436H marks another lost for our big family. May Allah grants His rahmah to her, overlooks her sins and reunite us again in His jannatul firdaus.

Friendly Reminder for Dear Me

A short note I posted a while ago on Facebook. The very reason why I find small things matter. 

I was in my room getting ready for work when the scent of bakhoor lit by Abah downstairs lightly spread all across the house. It was calming and enchanting.

Coming down, I was greeted by the birds outside singing happily and our cat Muffin meowing at us as she was about to be bathed saying 'Hello, good morning Kaklong, now can you help me get out of this cage? Bathing at this early hour is so not me'. Sorry Muffin, I can't help you. I'm off to work, toodles. See you later.
And so she sat there obediently sending me off with her Puss in Boot's eyes.

Driving my way to office was amazingly smooth alhamdulillah. Though surrounded by tall buildings and cars honking everywhere, looking at the green trees around released a few of the stresses that might have subconsciously embedded.

Making connection with nature (skies, trees, animals) somehow eliminates negativities and motivates oneself to be more calm and collected.

Dinding Hati

Kita dilahirkan suci murni, tiada sebarang penyakit hati. Namun dalam proses membesar kita akan berhadapan dengan bermacam rintangan dan ragam manusia. Manusia ego contohnya. Penyakit hati yang berangkai dan berjangkit tanpa kita sedar. Bagaimana?

Contoh, kita bertemu dan mengenali seseorang yang ego dan sukar. Kita semakin terluka lalu kita akan bina 'dinding' hati. A total shutdown. Tiada rasa. Lalu kita bertemu dengan keadaan dan watak yang lain. 'Dinding' hati masih ada malah diperkuatkan lagi binaannya. Nah, watak lain pula yang menjadi mangsa. Kita yang asalnya mangsa kini jadi pemangsa.

Cycle ini akan berterusan sampailah suatu ketika pintu hati diketuk dengan kasih sayang Allah, melalui kasih sayang watak lain yang benar benar jujur mahu meruntuhkan 'dinding' hati. Namun, jika kita masih ada dinding itu runtuhkanlah ia di dalam sujud. Jangan tunggu watak lain. Ini hidup kita, hati kita. Jangan biarkan keras lama-lama. Kerana ia milik Allah jua.

Hati yang bersih itulah yang menjadi ukuran buat kita, syurga atau neraka.