Just Do Good. Just Do It.

In the name of Allah, The Most Compassionate, Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only.

This ayah tells it all doesn't it? No, am not a profound hafiza or a sheikha but merely a student of knowledge as I would prefer to call myself. It is just that sometimes, when I do good things for people and I don't receive the kind of outcome that I expected from them, I'd be frustrated and I felt that there's no use for doing good. Astaghfirullah. See how I depended on the creation instead of THE Creator? No, I'm not looking for compliments or rewards, not even praise (gosh I hate being praised! weird I know). I'm just looking for some kind of validation from them and that I know my presence in their life is appreciated, just as much as I appreciate them in mine =)  

I can easily get hurt and when I did, I just cried. Because I don't have the ability to get mad at people I love and they wouldn't even know. When I cried, I talked to Allah The All Hearing. That feeling when you can't trust people enough to speak of your own weaknesses, that feeling of being all alone with your personal issues, that feeling when you realize only Allah knows your problem deeply more than you do. That to me is the most authentic feeling I had for my Creator. The sense of belonging to Allah and trusting Allah with all my heart to be patient and believe that Allah is handling my affairs far more better than I can handle my own self. 

After a while, I realize how important it is to correct our intention upon doing things or how we see things and that is to do every good deed with the intention to please Allah Glorious Is He. Often times we might not see the reward of doing good in this dunya, but Allah already tells us that the good deeds that we did shall not be of waste when we do it for Allah's sake. Just be patient, He will reward us. If the reward is not in this dunya, then the reward is saved for us in the akhirah Insha Allah.  

Of Mirrors and Gossips

In the name of Allah, The Most Compassionate, Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only.

"A wise person is one who blames himself for his shortcoming and works hard for what comes after death, while a careless and heedless person or unable person is the one who follows his desires & whims and keeps hoping for the mercy of Allah" 

I couldn't remember the source of the above saying but I wrote it down (hurriedly!) from an iftar gathering by Brother Wael Ibrahim on Remaining Steadfast. *If you happen to have info on its source, please let me know, thank you!* 

Sometimes it is so easy to fall back into our old pattern of living. You know, for example the Hey I Got A New Juicy Gossip, Want Me To Fill You In? Or vice versa My Bowl Is Empty, Care To Fill It Up With A Slurpy Yummy Gossip? It became a habitual thing that you didn't realize you're doing it when you've actually said to yourself, enough is enough already. *How many yous already?*

Do I really want to eat the flesh of my sisters and brothers in Islam? 

Now that is on gossiping. What about other sins then...

Curiosity Kills The Cat.

For this matter I guess the best way to say is Curiosity Kills The Soul. Ever been in a situation when you overheard somebody saying something about someone? And somehow it sounded so good (though it wasn't a nice thing) that you wanted to know more? The more you dig, the bigger the hole in your heart. You only realize you've done something bad when all is satisfied, and by this I meant the desire. The desire of indulging oneself in gossiping and backbiting. 

It felt like you're sucked into a hole of mirage and you just can't get out of it. It's like you purposely let yourself see something haram again & again and say Astaghfirullah at the same time, hoping that that thing you're looking at would disappear when for all we know the right thing to do was to STOP looking at it. Now doesn't that sounds, hmm...nonsense?

In a way I am a struggling bee trying to get all the honey I can get from all those blooming flowers *read sweetness of iman*. Gossiping is tempting. But only because you're not being grateful with what Allah has bestowed you with and it seems like others have all the things you wanted. Being ungrateful leads to jealousy which then leads to other heart diseases. Nauzubillahminzalik.

So I asked my friends *you know who you are, hugs* to just leave me if I'm about to start an idle talk, or to just stop me. Please. I wouldn't mind. 

I would also keep reminding myself of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) teaching; To leave that which does not concern you.  

I do believe that we can accidentally oversee our mistakes thus not realizing that we're in trouble. Most of the times I think it would be a big problem if one does not realize that one is having a problem :( 

In the end I guess it boils down to the importance of doing self reflection and having good companions / friends who could be mirrors and point out the things which we are not aware of. OR too stubborn to admit of having / doing.

What do you think?

May Allah shower us with His Mercy, and may we consistently ask for His Forgiveness and Guidance. Ameen.

“Judge yourselves before you are judged, evaluate yourselves before you are evaluated and be ready for the greatest investigation (the Day of Judgement)” - Umar al-Khattab.  

ps: A rant in the middle of the night as a reminder to myself first and foremost. 

The Holy Kaabah

In the name of Allah, The Most Compassionate, Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only. 

Quite recently my family and I, along with many other muslims had embarked on a journey. Not a mere journey of one's physical being if I may say, but a journey of the soul. 

I believe most of us had been there, each with our own stories and experiences that taught us new knowledge and wisdom. 

Lesser Pilgrimage.

Throughout the days in Mecca & Medina, Alhamdulillah we were accompanied by good hearted and kind ustadhs as our Mutawifs. They have a profound knowledge in Islam and were very generous to tell us histories and seerah that I have never heard of before.  

This is a writing not intended for preaching, but a humble quest of sharing a bit of Kaabah's history that I think would be beneficial to whoever reading this. Should there be any falsehoods or wrong facts in this writing, feel free to correct me. 

Kaabah.

On one of the days in Mecca, our Mutawif, a student of Umm Al-Qura University brought us for a visit around Masjidil Haram area. One of the interesting topics that was shared with us is the Kaabah. It is said that through some references, the foundation of Kaabah existed since Allah s.w.t. created the earth, and the first to circumambulate were the angels, followed by djins. This was before mankind was created, or to be accurate, before Prophet Adam a.s. (Allah's blessings be upon him) was created. 

First Construction. 

The building of Kaabah was first built by Prophet Ibrahim a.s. (Allah's blessings be upon him) due to Allah's command. 

"It was the first house built for public worship in Makkah. It still stands as a blessing and guidance to mankind. In it are manifest signs; that is the house of Ibrahim. Whoever enters it shall be secure" - Ali 'Imran (3:96-97) 

It was made of stone with no roof. The dimension was 16m in length and 4.5m tall. 

Second Construction.

The second construction of Kaabah was 6 years before Prophethood whereupon idols were worshipped. It was built by the Quraisy after the kiswah (cloth that covers Kaabah) was burnt accidentally and the walls ruptured by flood. These incidents terrified the Quraisy and they soon determined to demolish its walls and rebuild the Kaabah together.

But they were hesitant with the appearance of a large snake which would come out of the vault to sun itself. The Quraisy were terrified as it would raise its head and hiss with gaping jaws each time it is approached. The snake then was seized by an eagle which flew away with it. 

Abu Wahb of the Makhzum clan was the first man to lift a stone from top of one of the walls but no sooner than it was lifted, the stone leapt from his hand and returned to its place. These made the others drew back from the Kaabah. Then the chief of Makhzum, Walid took up a pickaxe, went to Kaabah and knocked down part of the wall between the Black Stone and the Yemenite Corner. The others held back and waited the whole night to see if any unfortunate event would happen, but it didn't. So Walid continued working in the morning and was joined by others. They soon came to discover large greenish cobble-stones placed side by side. A man tried to lift one of them out but then decided to leave the foundation undisturbed, as at the first movement of the stone the whole Mecca had a quaking shudder. 

The Quraysh gathered more stones and increase the height of Kaabah up to 9m but lesser in length which then became 13m. 

This then leads to the event where Prophet Muhammad (Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) was asked by the Quraysh to resolve the disagreement between the clans on who would be the one to place the Black Stone (Hajarul Aswad). Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) being the al-Amin, told them to provide a cloak which he then placed the Black Stone on the middle of the cloak, letting each clan to take hold of the cloak's border and lift it up together. At the right height, he took the stone and placed it with his own hands. The building was completed afterwards. 

Third Construction.

At 64H / 683M, Kaabah was destroyed due to a war that broke out between Yazid bin Mu'awiyah and Abdullah bin Zubair. Ibn Zubair which was the son of Asma' binti Abu Bakar, daughter of Caliph Abu Bakar, succeeded in claiming Mecca and decided to repair and renovate Kaabah back to its original length built by Prophet Ibrahim (Allah's blessings be upon him) which was 16m, and the height was increased to 13m.

This built was done following a hadith of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) that was narrated by Aisyah r.a. (Allah be pleased with her) 

"If your people had not quite recently abandoned the Ignorance (Unbelief), and if I had sufficient provisions to rebuild it [the Kaba], I would have added five cubits to it from the Hijr. Also, I would make two doors; one for people to enter therein and the other to exit." (Bukhari). 

One of the pillars of the Holy Kaabah with its wooden base and crown dating back to the construction of Abdullah Bin Zubair

Fourth Construction.

It wasn't long afterwards that Abdul Malik bin Marwan of the Umayyad Caliphate sent his army to Mecca under the charge of Hajjaj bin Yusuf and sieged Mecca which leads to the killing of Ibn Zubair. Hajjaj then wrote to Abdul Malik bin Marwan stating that Ibn Zubair had added a new portion to the existing Kaabah that was not part of it, and thus was granted permission to renovate it back to how it was in the times of Quraysh.

He closed the west door, elevated the east door, demolished the north wall and increased its length towards Hijr Ismail about 3m. 

It is said that after Abdul Malik bin Marwan knew that Ibn Zubair had renovated Kaabah based on a hadith, he regretted for giving the permission to Hajjaj to change the dimension of Kaabah. 

Fifth Construction.

During the ruling of Sultan Murad Khan of Utmaniah Caliphate, Kaabah was damaged by huge flood which then leads to its renovation back to its previous state.   

This was the last construction of Kaabah with its form fixed up till now. 

Several renovations and repairs were continuously done by caliphs, leaders and governors to maintain this Sacred House of Allah. The one that you and I circumambulated :) Alhamdulillah. And you too who will soon be there and gape in awe with Allah's blessings , InsyaAllah. 

I have reached the end of my writing here at the moment though there are so much more to be shared! :)

All that is good comes from Allah Azza Wa Jalla & any disrepute and infamy comes from my own weakness. 

May Allah grant us the ability to learn, and protect us from being misguided. Ameen. 

References: 

1. Full verbal story from Ustaz Ghazali of Umm Al-Qura University

2. Mekah al Mukarramah; Sejarah & Monumen - Mahmud Muhammad Hamo

3. Muhammad; His Life Based on the Earliest Sources - Martin Lings

4. The Life of Muhammad - Muhammad Husayn Haykal

We Will Soon Come to Know.

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious and Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only.

From Allah we came, to Allah we return. 

On Friday the 16th, I was informed with the news of the returning of a friend to our rightly Owner, our Creator. Allah Al A'zeez. For a moment I was numb and speechless. I didn't know how to react. I double confirmed with my friend was it really the person that I had in mind. And it was true. Allahuakbar. 

Allahyarhamah Nadia Zahari. 

We weren't really that close but I had the chance to know her, and to me now that she's no longer in this dunya, made me appreciate the opportunity to have known such a wonderful person. 

I first met her at PASUM. Her room was next to mine. My first impression; a bubbly girl she was.

I then met her again on my best friend's engagement day last year. She was the photographer commemorating that special day. We had a little chit chat and took photos together. Added each other on Facebook and admiring her from then on. 

The last time I saw her was on my friend's wedding day in February, and had a little catching up on her wedding preparation. Nadia was engaged to be married in October. But Allah's plan and love for her were greater.   

She was a daie, spreading Islamic knowledge through her profound talent in photography and graphic design, and not to mention through her personality as well. She set up a Facebook page called Jom Solat, reaching out to people to better understand the meaning of our readings in Solah. 

Those who knew her well including those who admire her from afar would definitely say she's a very bright and kind lady. 

Her sudden departure leaves us with endless questions that we might not even had the time to think of before. Made us realise how short our time is in this dunya, how we can never escape the angel of death Izrael when his and our Lord says its time, how did we spend our time that was given by Allah s.w.t., and the most heart gripping question, are we prepared to meet Him? :( 

"Every soul shall taste of death, and you shall only be paid fully your reward on the resurrection day; then whoever is removed far away from the fire and is made to enter the garden he indeed has attained the object; and the life of this world is nothing but a provision of vanities" Ali 'Imran (3:185)

Though sadness veils us, we truly believe and asked Allah s.w.t. to place her soul in a better home than in this dunya, a better rank with the saliheen, in a more peaceful valley only for the mu'mineen, Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen Ya Rabb.   

Alhamdulillah, allahyarhamah has left us with legacy of love, ilm, and act of kindness that will remain in the hearts of the people. The one thing that we should strive for. The purpose of our life. Should we not follow? 

Al-Fatihah.  

    

The Trip of The Soul.

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious and Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only.

When I was a kid, I have always wondered what is it like to perform the tawaf or circumambulating the Kaabah. Heard stories from grandma, uncles and aunties but I couldn't imagine myself in that position. Read a lot of peoples' experiences too in magazines, and most of them would be telling about how they couldn't see the Kaabah, or how they got lost in the Masjidil Haram etc. and this happened due to the sins they did in the past. I too then became anxious and worried. Will I be able to see Kaabah when I set foot in front of it? 

This question lingered in my mind frequently when my father came home one day and told us that we will be going for Umrah or the lesser pilgrimage. Allahuakbar. The feelings were of a mixed one. Happy and excited, because I can finally perform Umrah, moved and affected because Wallahi I realised that this is the call of Allah s.w.t. and my family & I are about to become His guests in Haram. But I was scared too. Anxious to bits. What if I passed out when my feet touches Haram? What if I can't see the Kaabah? What if? WHAT IFS? 

All of these WHAT IFS were negative thoughts that need to be burned with the thoughts of how much Mercy Allah s.w.t. has for His slaves. Tawbah. Yes. Before one sets for an umrah or hajj, one has to prepare one's self for this journey. It is a journey of the soul, so the soul must be purified.

Habib Ali Zainal Abidin told us that to perform the Umrah means bringing one's heart, purified, for Allah's sake. 

So I took the steps little by little.

And eventually my worries subsided. Alhamdulillah :')

Put your utmost faith in Allah s.w.t. He will not let you down. That's the lesson I've gained throughout this process.

InsyaAllah, I'll continue sharing my heartfelt Umrah experience soon.  

A Mouth to Feed, A Soul to Rectify

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious and Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and Allah only.

It has been a very hectic week for me and how I wish I can have more time to do everything that comes in my way.

Work at the office suddenly piled up, I would say I'm a bit confuse as to which one I'm going to do first. Because all are urgent! I really really REALLY need to learn how to manage my time more wisely. And I have to be more sincere in doing my work, because it is the rizqi from Allah s.w.t.

I have to constantly remind myself and correct my intention to work for Allah s.w.t. Instead of feeling it as a burden or just a source of money, I actually am worshipping Allah s.w.t. That feeling is the sweetest.

I am so far away from being a perfect muslimah, but I will try.

*Fudayl bin 'Iyyaad said,

"If an action is sincere but not right, it will not be accepted; and if it is right but was not sincere, it will not be accepted until it is sincere and right. The sincere one is that which is for the sake of Allah and the right one is that in conformity with the sunnah" Then he recited,

"So whoever hopes for the Meeting with his Lord, let him work righteousness and associate none as a partner in the worship of his Lord." - Al-Kahfi (18:110)*

May Allah protect my heart and yours from intending other than His rida. Ameen Allahumma Ameen.

*An excerpt taken from the book 'How to Rectify the Heart' by Dr. Muhammad Moosa Ash-Shareef

Things We Took For Granted

                          


"Surely your Lord knows that you pass in prayer nearly two-thirds of the night, and (sometimes) a third of it, and (also) a party of those with you; and Allah measures the night and the day. He knows that you are not able to do it, so He has turned to you (mercifully), therefore read what is easy of the Quran. He knows that there must be among you sick, and others who travel in the land seeking of the bounty of Allah, and others who fight in Allah's way, therefore read as much of it as is easy (to you), and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate and offer to Allah a godly gift, and whatever of good you send on beforehand for yourselves, you will find it with Allah; that is best and greatest in reward; and ask forgiveness of Allah; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." - Al-Muzzammil (73:20)

Reading this verse has truly made it clear that Allah is speaking to me, to us. His slaves. This verse shows how merciful Allah s.w.t. is towards His slaves, and how He is guiding us in every way possible so that in the end, we'll be placed in Jannah. Subhanallah.

But we often take His mercy and blessing for granted. We do things that has been prohibited and turn a blind eye from Allah's guidance.

I remembered being so sick and having to swallow pills of different kinds in a day, and how awful I felt at that moment. It was so hard for me to get up and pray, I just wanna sleep! Truly this sickness teaches me to be grateful for having a good health. This body that Allah has entrusted us with, is nothing more than a vessel for us to worship Him, Ar- Raheem. As a reminder to myself first and foremost, do not give up in the act of worshiping Allah. To err is human, but the best of those who err are those who repent.